A Dream in Three Parts

A doozy of a dream.  Whew!  No wonder I wake exhausted.  I'm going way out on that limb to be really honest, so if naked honesty is going to make you uncomfortable, don't read.  Remember it's a dream.

Part One - Danny and Dying

First I was in a large cabin with several people. one of whom, Danny, has been a friend for decades.  I'm not sure who the others were, but I knew them.  I realized I was having a heart attack and new I was going to die, so I told Danny.  He said, "Just a minute, I have to go do something."

I thought, that he was really going to feel badly if he came back and I was dead.  (In real life, I have done something like this.  A friend whom I loved dearly told me was dying and I refused to believe it.  I just couldn't.  And so, I was not around when he actually passed.  I've felt awful about that.)  Anyway, in the dream, Danny had come to the party with  me and left with some girl, whose name may have been Pamela.  I had been trying to tell him that I really didn't mind when I felt the heart attack come on - and I didn't mind.   (In real life, Jim came to my party as my guest and left with a "friend" of mine.  This was a million years ago when I was an undergrad.  I really did care then.  Boy, did I!)

So I tried to hold on, for the sake of my friend, Danny.  And I did.  He returned and we began making love.  (Yes, this was a dream and if he reads this he'll be embarrassed!)  At the moment of climax, I died.  Petit mort, my foot.  My first thought was that poor Danny was going to feel terrible about this and I really didn't want him to.  What a way to go, though as far as orgasms go it was cut short.  Go figure.

So I realized I was dead and I sort of flew around and conversed with people I knew who were still living.  People from all parts of my life were there and I could go from one to another.  I was amazed that I was having two way conversations and I asked Joe, who in real life had been a priest, about it.  He and subsequently others, explained that they could see parts of me or hear me, but that they wouldn't remember it later.  I said, "Oh, so that's how it works."

A group of men from all parts of my life asked me if I yet realized all the men who had loved me in my life.  I said that I did not.  Someone was reading me a list of names, including at least one boy with whom I'd attended elementary school in waking life.  The list was long and I kept saying, "Wow, I didn't know that.  I wonder why they never told me."  The reader of the list told me that many of them had told me, but that I couldn't hear it.

I realized I was going to soon go to the next plane, so I needed to get going if I were going to converse with everyone I wanted to.  Someone reminded me that I could go through walls and time easily, and by George, I could.

I saw Danny, and told him to be happy and that Pamela was not good for him, then we both laughed.  I saw many people and explained that I realized that when they spoke to me, they wouldn't remember content, but they may remember feelings, so I loved them all greatly.

Part Two - Escape from Alcatraz

I began watching Escape From Alcatraz, which in my dream I had seen many times and in my dream it was quite different from the actual movie.  But I was actually in the movie.  I was with the two men who were escaping and the story continued long after we got to the mainland.  First we used a rubber raft with a little trolling motor and a light to escape the island at night.  When we saw the guards coming down the beach after us, we set the raft off in one direction so they'd shoot at it.  We went behind a big boulder where we had hidden a speed boat.  (It's a dream, remember.)  Then we turned off the lights and sped toward a far point on the shore.  Then we let one light come on for a short time, then turned it off and went a different direction.  We were indeed tricky.  We got to shore, but we knew that soon people would be coming after us.

Often during the movie I would get really anxious.  Well, who wouldn't with people shooting and chasing!  Then I'd have to remind myself that this was just a movie - one I'd seen so many times - and I knew everything would work out just fine and I should just relax.

We made it to the house of the sister of one of the men.  She was having a garden party, but the guests all left and she made us cream of asparagus soup, although one of the guys didn't think he was going to like it.  Then she made them suits to wear so as not to be suspicious.  Outside young couples were walking around the neighborhood, looking at houses with for sale signs in front of them.  I was reminded of my daughter getting her house and told them the story about how happy they were.  My daughter said something like, "This whole experience has been perfect!"

Then my ex-husband was sneaking about, trying to make me share this large amount of money I had. I wouldn't give him any.  He was made because I gave my daughter the down payment for her house. (Oh, yes, this is a dream.)  I had to hide my two Alcatraz friends, who had since become two rolled up area rugs, in her house.  I kept having to remind myself that this was a movie and a dream and that everything came out alright.

Overall this was a very fun and happy dream, though the second part doesn't sound that way.  The feelings were good.517559

Part Three - Married With Children

I was to get married that day, though I really didn't know the guy very well.  He was very nice, sort of naive and distant.  We were at the church and a group came in and said that it would be illegal for us to marry.  I asked them why and they couldn't say.  I followed one woman to the bathroom and I knew I was going to punch her in the face, so I was trying to remember what my brothers told me about hitting when I was a kid.  Was I supposed to tuck my thumb in or not?  Then she came out of the stall and upon questioning, told me that I had had too many men in my life to marry his nice man and asked if I wanted to see the video of Danny and I (Part One will haunt a person).  I punched her in the face and it hurt my  hand like heck.

So I asked the nice man if he was sure he wanted to marry me.  I was sort of hoping he'd back out of it.  I told him I wasn't very nice and was also concerned that he lived with his mother and his sister.  His sister had three children, one of whom had a physical disability.  He said he was sure, so we got married.  While eating cake, which was really yummy, btw, I mentioned that I had something scheduled in a month, and his mother said, "Oh, then stop by and see us in a month."

He lived on the fifth floor of a building down town.  I don't know what town.  I was combing the girls hair and telling them to read before they want to sleep and one girl had very tangled hair.  The other needed physical therapy.  The boy was a real brat.  I realized that they often didn't go to school and that they didn't have proper shoes, nor could any of them read well.  I got really, really pissed.

I woke up the sister and told her that it wasn't right that she was living on social security and food stamps because of her children and that she had shoes but her children didn't and that I was fixin to take those kids away from her and kick her out.  I told her to get her fat ass out of bed and clean the kitchen.

I took the kids to a reservation school near us where the teachers were appalled at how bad off these kids were.  In the boy's classroom, there were five students and three teachers.  The kids all loved the school, which was even going to provide physical therapy to the girl who needed it.

When it was time to go to bed, my new husband went into a different part of the house and got into a twin bed.  I said, "Oh, hell no,"  and asked him if he didn't want to sleep with me.  He said he wanted to be close, so I squeezed in with him and turned out the lights.  Then I realized the boy had snuck into the bed with us.  I thought, oh, well.   This isn't how I thought it was going to be, but I have this chance to really make a difference in the lives of these three children and I think this will be a good life for me to add to my other lives.

-fin-

While telling my hair dresser about the dream today, I realized many things. I think this dream is about having seen the movie and therefore being able to relax.  I know things are all going to be just fine.  When people die, they aren't gone, they are just different.  Well, different and the same.
I also realized that I dream in greater detail than  most people and I wouldn't give that up, even though I think it's exhausting sometimes.  Oh, and I realized that I project a lot of things onto Danny, who has become an icon in my dreams representing a lot of different people and things and situations.  I can't even begin to explain.

I also remembered a line from a movie or book I've seen or read recently that went something like "And because I have known Love, I will accept all that life brings with the flexibility of the wind." I understood that wind can blow down communities as easily as it can loft a bit of dandelion fluff into a blue sky.

So I reckon if you are looking for a reason to put me away, this might be it.  Just don't take away my dreams.