How the Right Shade of Lipstick Changed My Life

When my mother was playing Chutes and Ladders with dementia, I'd been spending extended periods of time with her.  She had fired me a few times, sent me back to the kitchen to "get back to work," told me I could leave now, and by the way, I didn't need to come back, she'd ask my name - a lot of stuff like that went down that could have been either funny or devastating.  I think at those times she had me confused with "the help." Other times, she was right on, inspecting my quilting (in)ability, giving not so subtle pointers, but encouraging me all the same.  She'd ask about her friends back in Illinois and radiated love for her grands and greats even though she could't always keep the generations and names straight.  In our family, that's a tough task for anyone, actually.

One day, at a friend's encouragement, I wore bright red lipstick - something I can't remember ever doing before, when my sister and I went to visit Mom together.  Maybe she knew who I was, since I was with Nancy, or maybe she thought that I was some friend of Nancy's.  Anyway, she exclaimed over and over again about how beautiful I was.  She said I was getting more beautiful all the time.  It was amazing and I ate it up - every single crumb, licking the plate.  Mom often told me I had a beautiful complexion, (which is fairly true, btw) but she'd never come out and said I was beautiful before. Never. 

Mom, especially in her golden years, was a hottie.  She knew it.  She rocked it.  and somehow coming from her - even though I knew she was a bit confused - I owned that compliment and continue to hold it in my heart. 

On the way home, I asked Nan to stop at a Walgreens, so I could buy another tube of bright red lipstick.  

Sometimes lately, I've noticed that totally inappropriate stuff comes out of my mouth.  It's not even logical or true stuff.  It's like it's coming from some passer by and just got confused and came out my mouth.  Who knows.  I don't plan on saying anything hurtful to my children or others I love, but if I do, I pray to God they put on some red lipstick and roll with it.