Tonight I've been a bit blue thinking of all the great things I wanted to accomplish before I die, and unless I give up sleep completely and become faster than a speeding bullet, I' not going to fit them all in this life time. So I've been turning my thoughts the some of the very best things I've accomplished.
Of course, the biggies are that I raised two children. I birthed them and nurtured them and saw them fly off in strange and wonderful directions. And while I constantly fight against guilt because I didn't do it perfectly, I've really no evidence, as my children have turned out perfectly.
I took over ad built up a community clinic for mental health services, substance abuse treatment, and continuing education and job skill straining for people with developmental disabilities. As part of that I turned an old sale barn into a recycling center that thrived.
I raised sheep and chooks on a farmette in Virgina and grew a huge garden. I learned so much.
I brought an early learning center back from the brink of closing, and made it thrive again, while falling in love with lots of babies.
I've kept secrets and promises and mostly been a good friend, sibling, cousin, and aunt. At times, perhaps even an okay daughter.
I've loved passionately and survived broken hearts.
I've travelled about the globe, made friends with Brumbies and kangaroos, gotten lost in mountains, eaten great food in and bargained with market owners in China and piloted a sampan. I've been humbled by ancient places in England including Stonehenge, Avebury Circle, Longbarrow and Glastonbury, and I've tasted cider with the good 'ol boys who proudly made it, turned the corner to see fields of solid bluebells, and got to know the folks down at the pub. I've seen the surf effervesce in Hawaii, and inhaled an indescribable sunset over the ocean at San Diego.
I've canoed up the Eau Claire River to where there were no people to be seen.
I've experienced - even performed - some great music.
I've seen people come into this life and leave it, finding beauty in both.
In my childhood, I was surrounded by great women, single, educated, kind, and patient, who cared for me and treated me as an equal and from whom I learned to many thing.
And I never lost my ability to be awed by Nature from the glory of a dandelion in all its stages to the nightly sky show on the dark prairie. I've been honored by "wild" animals who have trusted me enough to let me hold them, talk with them, listen to them.
I've written books that people enjoy reading.
I've talked some very worthwhile people into sticking around for a while, when they believed, as we all sometimes do, that others might just be better off without us. And I've listened while people have talked me into sticking around.
I've held and loved two grand babies - loved them more than I knew possible. And I allow myself to be loved and amused by them.
So over all, I realize that I have been blessed beyond all human reason. No need to dwell on the things I've not accomplished yet, and don't have enough time to write about all the things I've screwed up. I'll just let them go.
It's enough to know I've accomplished these, and many more things that are worthwhile. I am grateful.
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